During the summer of 2006 I travelled to Germany for a weeks holiday. I went at the request of my parents, perhaps a little reluctantly, but also knowing that I needed a rest. I was reaching burn out in terms of my ability to work consistently hard on my MPhil, had some difficult decisions to make which at the time felt as though they would potentially have dire consequences whichever way I went, and was deeply confused as to what exactly was happening in terms of my relationship with Steph.Thankfully the holiday turned out to be a wonderful week. We stayed with family friends who treated us with great care and consideration and gave us the opportunity to relax in their home without fear of being a burden or nuissence. Various trips out into the local area allowed for a good combination of magnificent German architecture, home cooked Italian food, as well as a bit of adventure. The two stand out moments for me (And they really do fill me with a sense of relaxation and thankfullness even now) where walking up the Brocken Mountain (which as well as being a huge great lump of a mountain, also marked one of the key locations of the Cold War, the West-East dividing wall running through it, and a Soviet army base - now hotel - occupying the summit), and even more so wandering through the streets of Hanover, only to emerge from the urban area and be confronted by a huge artificial lake surrounded by people relaxing, reading, talking. I instantly felt all the troubles lift and sat contentedly reading, taking photos, talking under the canopy of big old trees. Great stuff!
However, the key aspect of that trip for me was the ability I had in the evening to just sit on my own, free from distractions or obligations, and read Proverbs. Up until that point Proverbs had been something that I knew of rather than knew. I'd come across many references in books and talks, and had even read Bill Hybels book 'Making Life Work' which takes as its centre Proverbs. However I'd never taken a look at the text itself in the Bible. So it was that I was astonished at just how much unrelenting wisdom is contained in that book. It trully is magnificent, and for the next year I made frequent returns to re-examine the various chapters, or as seems to happen, discover new insights and truths that somehow eluded me on the previous viewpoint.
The reason i'm bringing this up now is that once more I feel like i'm exhausted. I realise that might sound ridiculous to those of you in the working world, knowing as you do that i'm unemployed, but it is that unemployment, coupled with other uncertainty and the doubts and difficulties that that can bring to my faith, that have left my mind a bit frazzled. For a while i've been leaving my frazzled nature untouched, in part because its been easier to ignore as my official responsibilities are few and also because I myself am convinced that I have no reason to be exhausted and thus have nothing to sort out! Recently though i've opened up the book of Proverbs once more and been both stunned and humbled at the tidal wave of wisdom that poors out of that simple text. It is magnificent, on its own certainly, but even more so when viewed in the context of the whole Bible as it reaffirms God's magnificence and rightousness. Check it out!
